I have been performing my magic for what seems only a very short time however I have had some question which seem to pop up in every performance and I was wondering if anyone has experienced the same thing and has some witty comments to make if they are asked these questions:
1) Are you possesed by the devil/evil spirits/bill gates?
2) Do you actually have a life?
3) Are those real cards?
4) You spent how much on this trick?

If anyone could give me some insight, particualrly on the firs two questions I would be most thankful.

1- No I am possesed by the fact that you need a hobby.
2- No, I am a figment of your imagination.
3 - Nope, they're fake....watch them FLY~~!!!!
4- I spent about a good 2 hours mastering it. Yep.


Those would be my answers .,.

1. No I am christian. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! (to quote jay sankey that quotes austin powers)
2. *Does needle-thru-arm* Not anymore...*drops dead*
3. *Throws cards at spectators* Do they FEEL real!?
4. Nothing, The trick costed three hundred dollars. By the way, I think you want your wallet back.

Responses:

1) The Devil? No, you and I are in no relation to eachother, are we? (The same can/should be said in response to "evil spirits.") And Bill Gates you ask? Well, watch this multiplying money effect and you tell me...

2) Of course I have a life, why would you ask me that? Are you looking for one to borrow?

3) If they weren't real, they wouldn't be here now would they? Or maybe you're just hallucinating the idea of me doing a card trick on stage in front of hundreds of people. *roll eyes*

4) Just as much as you are willing to spend. *Wink at him/her and smile*



Those should be good for all the hecklers who think they know it all.

Thanks, these are great guys, just in case anyone else had the same problem one of my more sadistic friends suggeted:

"No I'm the walking dead" for #2