Hi there I'm quite new as you can tell so I appologise in advance if any of these sayings have been posted before. I don't claim rights to any of them, I didn't make them up, I purely heard/read them else where.
Herer they are

:
If a trick goes wrong-- Well it worked in the magic shop
-- Did I say magician, I meant musician and for for my next song I'd like to play
-- Haha, this is just mis-direction whilst my assistant loads the elephant into my hat for the finale
-- Hey, c'mon man, I get paid $10 an hour and never work more than 20 mins, you do the math!
-- Well that's the forst time that's ever happened again
-- If a trick goes wrong just stare at it, throw it over your shoulder and yell MOVING ON TO MY NEXT TRICK (little bit dubious that one is

)
Thos are just a couple, I did have more only I lost one.
And a final joke that is related to this site. It was on C4 Faking It where a researcher had to become a magician in a month and fool 3 professional magicians including PAUL DANIELS.
'Fat Penguins.... (Awkward Silence)... Sorry I thought I'd better just say something to break th ice

!!! Ba-Dom-Tsch
Ali