"ya keep asking and I'll saw you in half and not put you back together! "
or if they ask you to do another one say: "I can cut someones head off and heal them!" when they ask how you say "All i need is a knife and a REALLY good doctor" lol

reach into your pockets pretending to look for a trick and then say you made them disappear.

when your not in the mood, pull off something sarcastic, like when you hold one finger up then smack your hands together and your finger is up, but on the other hand, or the one where you make a loop with your fingers and thumbs put your hands behind your head, and reveal them to show the loops are connected.

if some one ask you to show them a trick and you dont feel like it, tough, if your not busy you most likely should show them a trick, your a magician its your job.

lol that was on family guy

I just clap and say "Darn i left all the good fire at home. OH MAN i think i left the gasoline running" (Run away screaming)

Say "no" works every time!

no, i perform whe ni want to perform

IM NOT YOUR MONKEY!!!!

*monkey line credited to John Stewart on some other guys show as a special guest*

go play in traffic

I highly doubt many of these lines would work. The funny ones are good but saying stuff like "I'm not your monkey! NO!" would make them not like you anymore and feel like you said to them personally "Leave me alone! You're annoying!" so I wouldn't say any of those. I really like the bird joke with the hat but wouldn't it be cool to then turn that into an actual trick and produce something. When everybody's laughing at the bird joke take and conceal something large in your hand and produce it from the hat such as an orange or even a bird if you have one. Wait...who would freaking have a bird randomly on them. Anyway you get my point. I like "Magic...trick?" and "I don't know magic". It's just gives you enough time for them to go in their head "WHAT!?!" and by that time you're gone and they're laughing. Please people, stop giving bad advice like "Hit them and call them bad words hyuk hyuk! Works every time!!!" We know that doesn't work so stop!

saying no works just fine
they should know that you arent there to perform for them on their whim
let them know once that you arent there to perform exclusively for them on their shedule.

tell them, "no, ill perform when i want to, not when you say"
theyll be stunned from the reaction and walk off or continue what you were doing. they now know that youll perform when YOU want to.

it does work everytime for me, im in highschool and it works, but hey, what do i know, ive only been using it for around a year and its worked everytime.

w/e

your job is to be people's personal b itch???

ok, go ahead and perform like a good monkey whenever the people snap their fingers

Actually, it is not my job, it is my hobby. I don't have to show magic to anyone I don't want to, and I decline all the time. If it was my job, I still would decline if I didn't want to because my performance would lack entertainment out of lack of interest.

BURN JOKE STEALER!!! (SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!) Oh, crap. I'm outta' juice.

Whatever you say, make sure it's funny and not insulting. If it's insulting, you lose your reputation as a performer.

thats that.