The article I saw:
Criss Angel's Wife Wants to Conjure Cameron Diaz
Los Angeles (E! Online) - For his next trick, Criss Angel will attempt to explain away an alleged affair with Cameron Diaz.
In retrospect, it probably would've been easier to stick with the straightjackets.
As it is, the Mindfreaker's estranged wife is accusing the goth illusionist of mental cruelty, abandonment and carrying on a relationship with the A-list actress in a divorce filing.
At a court hearing in New York Friday, a lawyer for Angel's estranged missus, Joanne Sarantakos (Angel's real name is Christopher Sarantakos), said that he planned on making sure Diaz didn't pull a disappearing act from the proceedings.
"We're naming Cameron Diaz as his lover," Dominic Barbara said in Nassau County Court. "We will subpoena her as soon as she comes back to New York."
The maybe-duo was first spotted hanging out together in Las Vegas in May, with Angel fueling speculation of a hookup by telling People that "Cam is an amazing person."
While Diaz and Angel have been photographed numerous times together since then, neither has elaborated on the nature of their suddenly close relationship, outside of Angel descibing them as nothing more than "good friends."
Then again, Diaz was the only one of his "good friends" that Angel name-checked last month during his high-profile escape from a box hanging above Times Square.
"I'd like to dedicate this to my girl Trouble, aka Cameron. I love you, baby," he said prior to the June 5 stunt.
Afterwards, Angel attempted to qualify the remark, telling People he "just said that because everyone was hounding me about it and at the end of the day I got it out there, so my professional life is there, my personal life is here."
Well, that explains it.
Angel and Sarantakos dated for 10 years and have been married for the last five. Sarantakos accuses her 39-year-old former flame of abandoning her when he hit the big time, not just emotionally but financially, failing to provide for her once he became a star. His magic show debuted on A&E in 2005 and has become one of the cable net's top-rated progams.
Angel's lawyer denies all accusations leveled against his client, saying the cruelty, abandonment and adultery allegations were all unfounded.
"The notion that she's not being supported is simply not accurate," Elliott Wiener said in court.
Both Angel, as a stripped-down, eyeliner-free version of himself, and Sarantakos appeared in court Friday.
During the session, the judge assigned to the case, Arthur Diamond, implored the duo to settle the divorce out of court, warning them that the proceeding could drag on for up to two years inside a courtroom.
Outside the courtroom, the Mindfreak star proved he was still up to his old tricks, gesturing to his wife's lawyer and telling reporters, "I can make him disappear."
Sarantakos, however, has her own idea of how their sideshow will play.
"I'm going to rip his heart out."
I am glad I was right about this loser all along.