i was performing to a group of kids and then one kid goes. Do you have a life? i didnt know what to say becasue i never been asked such a stupid question but i said yea what do you think i just sit at home all day long and practice of course i have a life. i just do this for fun... i felt like punching the kid... just another idiot at my school... what should of been said? or what is the better thing to say when placed in that type of situation... also i get a head ache becasue in school i cant just walk away and never see thema gin so i ner stopn hearing, do a trick, teach me a trick, c'mon your my friend you can tell me, i know how you did that, let me try, i can do that, holy crap i cant take it anymore... what do i say to these repetative questions...

embarass him. get people to laugh at him before they laugh at you. "Do you have a life?" --matter-of-factly-- "Uh yea.... but apparently you don't" Smile big. Wait for him to return some wise comment and then say "I believe we have a heckler ladies and gentlemen" and immediately move on.

The key here is this: the conflict is already out there. It's either you get embarrassed or he does. It breaks no ethics to make him look like a complete fool.

for the repetive questions. those along the lines of "How did you do that" let em know that you mean business. Make a stern expression -- not angry, but not warm and cuddly either -- and say "forget it."

for the "I can't take it anymore" kinda statements, don't get annoyed. soak it up. just chuckle and say "well your gonna have to."

anyway thats me. peace.


--DAN

for the life thing, i would reply:"Yea, its in my cupboard next to my rasin bran.."

That's a GREAT line! "Ladies and gentlemen, I do in fact believe we have a heckler!" That's mine from now on, don't steal it!

Steve

Here's a few.

I'm a magician, not a psychiatrist. If you need someone to listen to your problems, go see the counsellor.

I'm a little busy but your mom could tell you what I do when your dad's away.

No I don't. I basically sit at home devising ways to make you look stupid in front of your friends.

Yes I do. Sorry. Maybe ask one of those guys to be your friend.

Rofl wayno, i like the mum joke especially ;P

Do you have a life? "Yes i do...maybe i can make one magically appear for you." "Well even i have limitations"

Also "Yes i do...giving someone like you without a life entertainment"

lol. That one's good.

Wayno that's the dang funniest thing, the last one, with the friend and what not. LOLOLOL

However I would suggest taking Ortiz's suggestion on hecklers. Don't give them direct attention, it's exactly what they what. Indirect comments made to the rest of your audience about his stupidity while still ignoring him is the best way to go. I beleive Darwin uses the line, "Ladies and gentlemen, now we see the result of cousins marrying." Addressing the audience and not the heckler.

Now I agree that line is as lame as everyone elses in this thread with the exception of Wayno, but try and think of your own funny and creative way of taking a poke at someone without them even knowing it.

Heh. Questions like those are meant to easily entertain others at your expense.

Do keep in mind, to come back with a nice response like that will usually shut the other person up, bring out some hidden emotions, or infuriate them if they are bullies.

When I was back in junior high school, there was a kid I got into a one-up contest with and when I said "I seen your mom shopping the other day, then I told her to get the edited out of my garbage." , he immediatly broke down into tears crying about how it's not his or his mom's fault his dad ran out of them and left them with nothing.

Yowzers! That was about ten years ago and it still makes me think twice before opening my mouth. It was darn funny until my conscience kicked in.

Yeah, a well placed mama joke is fine until it really hurts. I know exactlywhat your saying wayno

the correct reply to that kid is this:

"well, your girlfriend likes it when i do magic."

How about stating very casually: "Sure, I got a few spares if you want em." This should either insult them or confuse them. Either way the control is back with you, the magician, and if you confuse them it makes them look foolish to the rest of the audience too.

I think it all depends on the situation and the people you are performing for. If you are a joking person and give off that persona, and your audience and heckler is that way too, I think you could get away with saying something sarcastic...but most of the time, I feel that this would make the situation worse. If you say something insulting seriously, then they will take it as such...a serious insult. This could not only make the person want to lash out more, but it might cause other people in your audience to not want to take your side as well. There are better ways to make the audience side with you and to handle people saying things like that....but fighting fire with fire only leads to bigger flame.

heres one whats it look like im the life of the party man if you had a life you wouldnt be watching ha you ho%&