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 Post subject: One-Liners You Create
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:21 pm 
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Tell us a great line that you have come up with on the spur-of-the-moment. That is, something that fit the situation that you can't recall seeing or hearing in a performance.

For me, it was during my performance at my school a couple of years ago. I had a crowd of students and staff at my table as I was about to launch into an effect. From the back someone yelled out "Hey! Can you pull a rabbit out of a hat?"

Without even thinking, I replied "No, but do you want to see me pull a fox out of the audience?". They of course replied "Yes!"

In front of me was one of our lady Phys-Ed teachers. So I just leaned forward, grabbed her arm and pulled her towards me. :)

The crowd hooted and hollered, she got slightly embarrassed. :lol:




Ok...now gimme yours!


Sean


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:07 pm 
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That's actually a really good line. I might start using that one!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:28 pm 
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Heh! Thanks. Feel free!


Sean


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:31 am 
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That was clever haha. I might have to use that one too. :wink:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 12:18 pm 
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I was using Pop Haydn's Linking Ring routine for a kid that either had ADD or was dropped headfirst into a shallow pool filled with bleach... you get the idea. The kid was messed up. I'm in the middle of the routine and he tries to take over and starts saying random things that make no sense at all. I looked right at him, held up the rings, rubbed them against each other, and said "Shiny" totally deadpan. It killed. The kid was nuts. Actually, that was another thing. In the middle of the effect he started talking about me changing the rings into squirrels and them chasing each other up a tree, yeah weird kid, so I looked at the audience and said "This kids nuts" and got another big laugh.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:06 pm 
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This one wasnt said when i was performing but it still got a huge laugh.We were sat in english and the Head came in and said I'v got a message for matt(he's got ADD and hes the sort of kid whos only there to make the teachers life difficult)Anyway the HEad said"iv got a message for matt2 he then turned to matt adn said "you got 98%" the English teacher then said "that sounds like its a great result then Matt" and i said "not if its a HIV test" the class ws in creases and i just sat back and took my redit.


Dan

P.S. when some says can you pull a rabbit out of a hat,I like to say "no but i can pull a hair out of my a**ehole wanna see" if they dont believe you then obviously you can prove it to them :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 2:49 pm 
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During a my table-hopping routine a woman started breast feeding her baby. I held my hand up and said, "Oh, none for me thanks." She was not amused, but her husband laughed till he cried.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 7:34 pm 
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exodus wrote:
I was using Pop Haydn's Linking Ring routine for a kid that either had ADD or was dropped headfirst into a shallow pool filled with bleach... you get the idea. The kid was messed up. I'm in the middle of the routine and he tries to take over and starts saying random things that make no sense at all. I looked right at him, held up the rings, rubbed them against each other, and said "Shiny" totally deadpan. It killed. The kid was nuts. Actually, that was another thing. In the middle of the effect he started talking about me changing the rings into squirrels and them chasing each other up a tree, yeah weird kid, so I looked at the audience and said "This kids nuts" and got another big laugh.



Heh! Squirrels!

Sean


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 8:53 pm 
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dbaker_creator wrote:
During a my table-hopping routine a woman started breast feeding her baby. I held my hand up and said, "Oh, none for me thanks." She was not amused, but her husband laughed till he cried.
hahahahahaha. Wow, that's risky.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 8:56 pm 
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Location: Pittsburgh, PA
dbaker_creator wrote:
During a my table-hopping routine a woman started breast feeding her baby. I held my hand up and said, "Oh, none for me thanks." She was not amused, but her husband laughed till he cried.


Wow! Ballsy, but really really funny.

-JT


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:02 pm 
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yeah, i got a book called magic for dummies and it shows you loads.. mainly for messing up rather than spectators cocky comebcks...

if you drop something
"thank god the dloor was there else the (coin)(card)(dice etc.) would just keep falling!"

when you mess up
"the real magicin will be here shortly..."
"START THE CAR!"
"hmm.. the man in the magic shop said (it was easy) (had a lifetime guarantee)"

answer to "how did you do that?!"
"quite well, don't you think?"
"if i told you i would have to kill you..."
"did you see me twitch my nose when i revealed your card?"
"do what?"
"magic..."
"i don't know, all i did was rub it and blow on the deck..."

change them to suit lol...
i tried most and got plently of laughs - distract them by laughing, add a joke and they'll forget about asking how it works etc.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:20 pm 
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I'm not a fan of the "Very well, thank you." style. It seems too "I'm better than you"-ish.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:38 pm 
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Spectator: How long have you been doing magic?

Me: (Look at watch) 2 minutes and 12 seconds. Why do you ask?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 1:00 am 
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dbaker_creator wrote:
Spectator: How long have you been doing magic?

Me: (Look at watch) 2 minutes and 12 seconds. Why do you ask?
I've used one like this for a while. I don't remember if I heard it somewhere or if I just said it on the fly one day and then remembered it later and kept it. But, when I was in school people would ask me (really often, especially teachers) "how long have you been doing magic?"

Me: "what day is it?"

Them: "Friday"

Me:(look into the air obviously doing calculations in my head) well that woud make it almost one full day.

My response would vary depending on my mood, I just toy with different numbers, but that was the usual response.

This is espescially funny when you've just done something particularly amazing, which is good because that is usually when they ask.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:57 am 
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I like to make it performance specific (making it clear I'm referring to THIS particular performance). If they know you're talking about this particular performance, you can sometimes get a longer gag out of it.

Spec: How loing have you been doing magic?
Me: Uh, 2minutes and 13 seconds. Why do you ask?
Spec: No, I meant how long have you been performing?
Me: I just told you, it's been 2 minutes and . . . well now it's 25seconds, since we started.
Spec: No, I meant how long have you been practicing?
Me: I practiced before I got here, this is the actual show. . .
Spec: I mean, How long have you been interested in magic?
Me: My interest varies from day to day, it's sad really. I happen to have ADD, which of course stands for Attention Deficit - that's a nice shirt, where'd you get it?

If you can keep the wordplay going, it's a great gag; and it allows you to avoid the long drawn out conversations that tend to follow the "How long have you been doing magic?" question.


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