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 Post subject: Just wanna really....express myself.... [Long]
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 12:50 am 
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born to perform.

Joined: 08 Dec 2003
Posts: 596
Location: Toronto, Canada
I know this is really a weird place to post my feelings but...i just need a place to express.

My dad always encouraged my magic and always complimented my infront of my relatives and always wanted me to perform for them. The problem is, most of my relatives are chinese and they dont understand english. Since my chinese is not all that well, my patter is really bad after i translate it and so my whole trick becomes sloppy.

So tonight...I was at my dad's friends restuarant and as usual, my dad asked me to perform for his friend. I did the biddle trick, it went horribly bad because of my crappy patter. My dad's friend then walked away and thats when my dad starts commenting about my magic. He said that my handling of tricks is good but when I perform, my performance is bad and I dont have the confidence. I total disagree with that because he never seen me perform at school. When I perform in English, I perform like a pro. He never seen the looks on my classmates face when I stump them with the strongest tricks. He never seen me had fun with strangers with a pack of cards. He wants me to be more entertaining when Im doing magic, but I think I have my own style and he needs to understand that I have my own ways of thinking and he just needs to get use to it...We got into a big arguement, and thats when I just wanted to give us a break. I grabbed my coat and went for a walk outside the resturant for about 10 minutes before going back.

After we left the his friend's resturant, me, him, my mom, my aunt and uncle got into the car and my dad drove us home. On the way back, he just flipped at me. He totally flipped. Started swearing at me in front of the family. He never does that to me, never, in my entire life. He was SO angry at me. He said that everyone that works with him respected him, my family and everyone respected him, except for his own son when he stood up and left for a walk during the arguement. He thought that I think he's stupid because his english is not that good. He thought that he always wanted to make me happy and never does he yells at me like that.

I never thought he was stupid, I always thought of him as a wise man. He has always thought me many things and he just never understand that. I have my own way of thinking but he doesnt accept it because he thinks hes always right.

Now, I feel that my connection with my dad is going to fade away gradually so now, Im here writing this post in tears hoping for the best... Hope you all understand how I feel and never will you go thru the same thing.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 12:55 am 
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born to perform.

Joined: 08 Dec 2003
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Location: Toronto, Canada
I feel a lot calmer now...that was harsh


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 12:55 am 
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born to perform.

Joined: 20 Jun 2003
Posts: 512
Location: San antonio, texas
Don't feel bad for posting here.


You need to vent once in a while, and this is a great place to do it.
I'm sorry about your situation, and all I can say is to maybe take a break from make for a while.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 1:18 am 
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born to perform.

Joined: 29 Aug 2003
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Location: Melbourne, Australia
wow, that sounds sad =[

Im sure if you explain your situation like you have here maybe your dad will start seeing things from your perspective.
Dont lose your relationship just because of ONE disagreeance..
work it out, family is there to stay =p

Please tell us how it all goes.
If you need someone to talk to MSN or AIM me if you like.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 2:56 am 
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Joined: 22 Jan 2004
Posts: 12
Maybe if you had done the "Chinese Laundry Man" trick off Daryl's Fooler Doolers Vol 1 it would have went over better. :x


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 2:57 am 
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Joined: 03 Nov 2003
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Location: geographic center of Alabama.
I agree with Parabol, discuss this with your dad, I realize the Chinese culture and traditions are different than American, but the bond between a Dad and his son is the same. I hope you get it worked out, good luck


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 11:30 am 
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Joined: 17 Oct 2002
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Location: New York
Explain to him exactly how you feel and then genuinely apologize.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 11:34 am 
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born to perform.

Joined: 08 Dec 2003
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Location: Toronto, Canada
Thx guys...I am sure I will talk to him about how I feel. I don't want this relation to shatter.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 11:43 am 
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born to perform.

Joined: 15 Mar 2003
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Location: floating in the Ether
Ninja, I am guessing you are a teenager. If I am wrong, my apologies.

As you grow older, you will realize that your relationships with your family will constantly be growing and changing. It doesn't mean that you are 'drifting away' from them really. You are at a stage in your life where you are starting to develop your own distinct personality and independence from your family. Of course your folks don't want to see this, they still want their little boy. This isn't a disrespect to you, it means they still love you very much and still want to protect you and are a little scared by seeing you starting to branch out from them a little.

Not being Asian, I won't even pretend to understand the Chinese culture. But I do understand the relationships in family, that is pretty universal.

Your best course of action would be to let yourself and your dad cool down a couple days from the argument. And then approach him with a sincere apology and tell him all the things you said here. Especially how much you respect him and consider him a very wise man.

Hope this helps you, or anyone else who has family troubles from time to time. 8)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 1:02 pm 
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"The problem is, most of my relatives are chinese and they dont understand english. Since my chinese is not all that well, my patter is really bad after i translate it and so my whole trick becomes sloppy."

It sounds as though you have more than enough reason here to learn at least 2 or 3 tricks with Chinese (Mandarin or whatever) patter. Not your whole act, but maybe your 2 or 3 best tricks.

In general, when you are performing for a large audience (mixed ages, sexes, backgrounds) there will often be some non-English speakers and I guess we all need a strategy for handling that.

I think if you have mostly English speakers and a few non-English speakers, that you might be okay by performing in English but perhaps drawing the non-English participant in with non-verbal communication. You don't need to speak their language to get them to pick a card necessarily. If the English speakers are enjoying the act, the non-Englsih speaker will probably be able to follow along and also derive enjoyment from it, even if they do not understand the words.

But if you are regularly going to perform for small groups of non-English speaking Chinese folks (it sounds like this is the case) and you have the ability to work on Chinese patter for 2 or 3 good tricks, go for it!

Maybe you could also recast some of your tricks using Chinese props (i.e., using non-gaffed Chinese playing cards, whether you're speaking English or not) when performing for your Chinese friends and relatives.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 1:07 pm 
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[Obligatory double post for my fans, lol, just kidding, but I think they love seeing my avatar ... ]

Ninjax: I see you're from Toronto ... I was just there on the weekend for a party ... I was snowed in Monday night at the airport, and my rescheduled Tuesday flight was also cancelled. Boy, was that ever annoying :-)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 3:24 pm 
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born to perform.

Joined: 04 Dec 2003
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If it was me i would've just shouted at my dad 'YOU, ME, OUTSIDE, NOW!'
And then i'd smack him down with a lead pipe and stomp on hsi face, if he manages to tackle me over then i'll stab his foot with a knife and scream 'I have NO father!' then i'd run off down the road and laugh an evil laugh!!! MWA HA HA HA HAAAAA..!!
But that's just me, what did you expect, a mature approach when asking the Royster..?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 7:19 pm 
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Joined: 30 Jun 2003
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Location: Don't Bend Forks with your eye.
........thats weird. You don't want to lose your dad. Especially since he is your dad. And you know he is wise. I don't understand why he talked to you like that. Talk to him about that. Get an apology out of him. I don't have that strong of a relationship with my step dad either. At all.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 7:25 pm 
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Joined: 03 Nov 2003
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Location: geographic center of Alabama.
balducci wrote:
[Obligatory double post for my fans, lol, just kidding, but I think they love seeing my avatar ... ]


....And what a gorgeous avatar it is. :wink: I'm getting jealous, you have more hair than me :evil:

:wink:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 7:39 pm 
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Joined: 12 Sep 2002
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Location: Brandon, FL
I seem to get very offended when my dad comments on my magic. I over react sometimes, but it does irritate me.

and I fight with my dad all the time, and I hate it because he yells at me, which causes me to yell at him, then we don't talk for like a day. :evil:


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