Mentalism

AndyCL · **Joined:** 01 Dec 2004 **Posts:** 225

Does anybody have any mentalism jokes? I could use them for an act I plan on doing at a convention. Also any jokes for other types of act would be appreciated as I am going into more than one contest.

AndyCL · **Joined:** 01 Dec 2004 **Posts:** 225

Anybody?

Wildheart · **Posted:** Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:31 am

"I hear voices in my head...... they don't like you."

"Is the noise in my head bothering you?"

AndyCL · **Joined:** 01 Dec 2004 **Posts:** 225

Wildheart wrote:

"I hear voices in my head...... they don't like you."

"Is the noise in my head bothering you?"

Those are pretty funny! Anybody else?

kraynik · **Posted:** Thu Oct 05, 2006 8:22 pm

I have a couple in my post

http://www.penguinmagic.com/discuss/vie ... p?t=115201

AndyCL · **Joined:** 01 Dec 2004 **Posts:** 225

kraynik wrote:

I have a couple in my post

http://www.penguinmagic.com/discuss/vie ... p?t=115201

Yeah I saw those, there good. Any new ones though?

kraynik · **Posted:** Fri Oct 06, 2006 8:48 am

pull off a south park. look them dead in the eye, put your two forefingers on your forehead, close your eyes and go nanananananananananananana

Khuldrin · **Joined:** 26 May 2006 **Posts:** 271

This is an old one....
Two mentalists were walking down the road, as they passed each other they said, You're fine, How am I?

jamesjay1 · **Posted:** Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:23 pm

You know, one thing I've always wondered......

How come no psychic has ever won the lottery?

And why can't they ever tell me what my credit card is? How come they have to ask what they can help me with? Shoudn't they know?

Mentalists get it done before anyone asks.

AndyCL · **Joined:** 01 Dec 2004 **Posts:** 225

jamesjay1 wrote:

You know, one thing I've always wondered......

How come no psychic has ever won the lottery?

And why can't they ever tell me what my credit card is? How come they have to ask what they can help me with? Shoudn't they know?

Mentalists get it done before anyone asks.

Those are great but I'm looking more for one liners.

Dr_Stephen_Midnight · **Joined:** 26 Mar 2006 **Posts:** 663

Some oldies:

Write something on a pad and ask a spectator, "Truthfully, do you know what I've just written down?"

When the inevitable response comes, turn the pad around, showing "NO" in bold letters.

"Amazing! How long have you had this gift?"

One from Lou Costello:
Spectator: "What am I thinking?"
Mentalist: "You're thinking I can't do it."

A few more:

"Think of a four-letter word...not THAT kind of four-letter word!"

(from Kreskin): "What is your name, please?" (response) "That's correct."

"I can read your thoughts, and you ought to be ashamed of yourself."

"You're thinking of something. I'm right, aren't I?"

VomittingRoses · **Joined:** 08 Oct 2006 **Posts:** 5

"Anybody who doesn't believe in psychokinesis please raise you hands..don't worry I wont be offended...Now everyone who believes in psychokinesis please raise my hand!
~~~Steve Shaw (BANACHEK)

biggmac812 · **Posted:** Fri Jan 26, 2007 7:55 pm

my favorite is this.....
Magician: For all you psychics and mindreaders out there I have a joke for all of you.( Then just stand there for a few seconds nodding your head, after like 10 seconds begin to laugh a little bit)

if you don't get the joke, (some ppl don't really understand it) it like this;
if they can read your mind then they should be able to hear the joke.

Mac

Lawboy · **Posted:** Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:53 am

Dr_Stephen_Midnight wrote:

Write something on a pad and ask a spectator, "Truthfully, do you know what I've just written down?"

When the inevitable response comes, turn the pad around, showing "NO" in bold letters.

"Amazing! How long have you had this gift?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlVdcxLQSxA

Dr_Stephen_Midnight · **Joined:** 26 Mar 2006 **Posts:** 663

Yep, the 'no' joke is an oldie, predating even Brown, to my knowledge.

Mentalism

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