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 Post subject: Mentalism
PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:39 pm 
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Joined: 01 Dec 2004
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Does anybody have any mentalism jokes? I could use them for an act I plan on doing at a convention. Also any jokes for other types of act would be appreciated as I am going into more than one contest.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:40 am 
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Anybody? :?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:31 am 
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born to perform.

Joined: 03 Mar 2004
Posts: 1931
Location: www.mysteryandillusion.com
"I hear voices in my head...... they don't like you."

"Is the noise in my head bothering you?"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:46 pm 
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Wildheart wrote:
"I hear voices in my head...... they don't like you."

"Is the noise in my head bothering you?"


Those are pretty funny! Anybody else?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 8:22 pm 
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born to perform.

Joined: 26 Sep 2006
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Location: The Shire
I have a couple in my post

http://www.penguinmagic.com/discuss/vie ... p?t=115201


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 9:02 pm 
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kraynik wrote:


Yeah I saw those, there good. Any new ones though?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 8:48 am 
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born to perform.

Joined: 26 Sep 2006
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Location: The Shire
pull off a south park. look them dead in the eye, put your two forefingers on your forehead, close your eyes and go nanananananananananananana


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 8:08 pm 
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This is an old one....
Two mentalists were walking down the road, as they passed each other they said, You're fine, How am I?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:23 pm 
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born to perform.

Joined: 06 Jul 2006
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Location: In a galaxy somewhere in the vicinity of Betelguese 5
You know, one thing I've always wondered......

How come no psychic has ever won the lottery?

And why can't they ever tell me what my credit card is? How come they have to ask what they can help me with? Shoudn't they know?

Mentalists get it done before anyone asks.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 8:35 pm 
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jamesjay1 wrote:
You know, one thing I've always wondered......

How come no psychic has ever won the lottery?

And why can't they ever tell me what my credit card is? How come they have to ask what they can help me with? Shoudn't they know?

Mentalists get it done before anyone asks.


Those are great but I'm looking more for one liners.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 8:11 pm 
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born to perform.

Joined: 26 Mar 2006
Posts: 663
Some oldies:

Write something on a pad and ask a spectator, "Truthfully, do you know what I've just written down?"

When the inevitable response comes, turn the pad around, showing "NO" in bold letters.

"Amazing! How long have you had this gift?"

One from Lou Costello:
Spectator: "What am I thinking?"
Mentalist: "You're thinking I can't do it."

A few more:

"Think of a four-letter word...not THAT kind of four-letter word!"

(from Kreskin): "What is your name, please?" (response) "That's correct."

"I can read your thoughts, and you ought to be ashamed of yourself."

"You're thinking of something. I'm right, aren't I?"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 6:58 pm 
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"Anybody who doesn't believe in psychokinesis please raise you hands..don't worry I wont be offended...Now everyone who believes in psychokinesis please raise my hand!
~~~Steve Shaw (BANACHEK)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 7:55 pm 
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Joined: 29 Nov 2005
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Location: Great Neck, NY and Fire Island, NY
my favorite is this.....
Magician: For all you psychics and mindreaders out there I have a joke for all of you.( Then just stand there for a few seconds nodding your head, after like 10 seconds begin to laugh a little bit)

if you don't get the joke, (some ppl don't really understand it) it like this;
if they can read your mind then they should be able to hear the joke.

Mac


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:53 am 
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born to perform.

Joined: 28 Dec 2002
Posts: 4064
Location: London, England
Dr_Stephen_Midnight wrote:
Write something on a pad and ask a spectator, "Truthfully, do you know what I've just written down?"

When the inevitable response comes, turn the pad around, showing "NO" in bold letters.

"Amazing! How long have you had this gift?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlVdcxLQSxA


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 11:01 am 
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born to perform.

Joined: 26 Mar 2006
Posts: 663
Yep, the 'no' joke is an oldie, predating even Brown, to my knowledge.


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