Ok im going to be in a talent show in a couple of weeks and I need some one liners for when i saw the beautiful assitant in half. I dont have any. Any help is greatly apprecitated thanx!

maybe something along the lines of "I can turn one assistant into two!"

if its a female say " well of course im gunna put her back together, 2 parts means twice the misery "

"now gentlemen, you can finally mix and match!"

She's a busy girl . . . so she needs to split.

Well of course I had better put her back. After all, if she's in 2 pieces the top can get its hair done at the same time that the legs are shoe shopping. That'll make my money vanish.

I use Alan Wakeling's version where the lady has a collar with a leash through a hole in the table, and ankle restraints on a leash through another hole at the bottom. Spectators hold these restraint leashes tight, and Alan's patter was "Now, doesn't that give you a sense of power?" I added, "Enjoy it now, cause that power won't last after we put her back together!"

It's not funny, I know, but it just seemed to fit.

I like the other lines thus far, and may have to adapt them in....

Right when you're about to do it, pull out a book and say ok, the next step is too... Or something along those lines in patter.

James, that's horrible. Funny, but horrible.




I do that somethimes with other effects. It gets a big laugh.

If you're going to do it, Make a fake book with something like "The TOTAL Idiot's Guide to Magic" written on the front.

I like that! Or just pull out Magic for Dummies......same reaction, I'd wager....

I actually went to the trouble of making a fake book from blank newsprint. That way I can incorporate jokes and predictions into it.

I was in the Magic Castle library, and Milt Larsen showed me a nice leather bound book titled "Everything I know about Magic, by Milt Larsen"

As you probably already guessed, all the pages were blank.

Oh man that's great! I'm making another book.

Now THAT'S funny! has nothing to do with the original post, but I love that...... That's funny right there, I don't care who you are.....

reminds me of the un-PC line from Airplane; "Do you have anything light to read?" wherein the stewardess hands her a pamphlet......you know the rest.......

-If this hurts, let me know. Don't hold back; just spill your guts...DOH! Sorry.

-I goofed last time. My assistant was beside herself.

i do the effect to the point where i have the assistant in the box and i show that there are no trick anything



then i just ask them "do you have insurance" pause for a sec. then say "cause i dont"


gets great laughs and it makes it more dramatic when you are easily able to pull it off

Where can i learn this trick. Its a well kept secret. I wouldnt perfrom it anytime soon but i would love to know how. Is it in Mark Wilson's book because i have that but i didnt see it.